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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have family friends that are of an extremist religion (Christianity FWIW).   When we met, we didn't know anything about their views except that they did not wear pants or cut their hair.  Over the years, of course we learned more, but our kids were fast friends and they grew closer over the past few years.  My 20 year old son and their 20 year old daughter were good friends for years, but lately have expressed that they have feelings for each other.  This girl is a wonderful girl and someone I would be happy for my son to date, but her father refuses to allow her to date STILL.

My son is upset, has even spoken to the father, has expressed that he is respectful of her and their family, and the father still won't allow it.  This man (not someone I like at all) also doesn't allow his wife to do anything without his permission, as he believes the Bible tells them that the man is the ruler of the house and the wife must be submissive.  She was not allowed to visit her dying uncle in a neighboring state, for example.  She is not allowed to see certain people if their faith doesn't align with theirs.  She was recently telling me how happy she was that her husband gave her permission to visit a friend for a few days that had moved out of state.  She told me about how hard it was to wait the 2 weeks he took to decide if she was allowed to go or not.  I think my jaw hit the floor as she was telling me the story.  And I think she mentioned that the only reason he was allowing it was because this other family were also "good enough" Christians.

I feel horribly about all of this, and I know it will blow up at some point because I can see that the kids know that some of this is just not ok.   In particular, their 22 year old son is having a hard time being restricted in ridiculous ways for a 22 year old.  (yes, he's working on getting out of the house).   But in the meantime, I feel badly for my son and this poor girl that is 20 years old and isn't even allowed to go out on a date.  Oh...and she has a curfew also, unless her older brother is with her.

I am also a Christian, but am unfamiliar with this level of extremism.  How do people accept living like this?  do people really believe that this is the way they are meant to live?

I feel badly for all of them honestly...except him.

Oh, the kicker is that he married his wife when she was 16 and he was 30.  But he won't let his 20 year old daughter even go on a date!!!!

Your son is 20 so while you let you son date you sound overinvolved as well.  Just stay out of it.

I'm just stunned and can't express it to her of course.   It's sad that some part of me doesn't want my son getting involved with her at all because of her family.  [/quote][/quote]

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