Reply to Life is built on a house of cards

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[quote=Anonymous]I do often wish we had a more reliable support network but not enough to live near our families, which honestly are less help than I think people expect. As a PP pointed out, there are also a lot of obligations that come with it. And for me, my family has a lot of crazy that I am happy to be far away from. Even when I talk to them on the phone, there’s this edge of anxiety that they all have, all these unresolved issues that no one addresses but infect everything. No thank you. I will take my distance and therapist, please.

But the issue with friends and neighbors is that while we help each other, the threshold for help is high. We just don’t have a culture of everyday help. Oh sure, we shovel the sidewalks of older neighbors and do neighborhood cleanups. But in order to invoke an “I need help” you need to have cancer or a new baby or a death in the family. Which we have had, and people stepped up and I was so appreciative. But the more mundane help OP is talking about? It happens, but it’s awkward to ask and you need to be very careful not to overburden others. Everyone is strapped for time and energy. It’s tough.

You have to be resilient in this world. I’m a “all feelings are valid” person so I’d never fault anyone for complaining or wondering, like OP, if there’s a better way. But in the end, the only person you can guarantee is going to show up for you is you.[/quote]

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