Reply to Sad the optionality of another kid is closing

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[quote=Anonymous]I had my second at 37, and my girls are 8.5 years apart.  I am about to turn 44 now, so I am absolutely not having another, but I don't think a pregnancy even into your early 40s is horrible.

We started trying when our first was 4 and ran up against unexplained secondary infertility.  We actually were just about to throw in the towel after having tried IUIs and having had a miscarriage when I happily got pregnant without help and it stuck.

I'm not saying "you must have a second" - I was an only and had a great childhood and know I had advantages I wouldn't have had if my parents had added a second.  I'm just saying that if you and your husband want a second, don't let age gaps be a deterrent.

Having a big gap is interesting, but also wonderful.  My older daughter is so helpful with her little sister.  The teen's friends all adore our 6 year old.  Being an only, I have no biases about age gaps and what is "right". My husband has an older brother by 3 years who kind of made a mess of his life, so it's not your typical big brother/little brother relationship anymore as adults.[/quote]

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