Reply to In search of therapist or resources to cope with neices’s reactive attachment disorder

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[quote=Anonymous]OP---the kindest thing you can do is to try to create a safe space for your sister's other kids.  You will have to be strategic about it in order not to create further disruption, i.e., don't invite all of her biologicals over at once while not asking her adopted child but instead do things like ask her DD to come watch a movie with your DD (if ages are similar).  If your sister is struggling with guilt over what effect your niece might be having on her kids, then she will likely welcome the chance to let her kids get out of the house and visit with you.  If she truly has her head in the sand and resists the idea, then don't offer again, because keeping your own children safe is Priority #1.

I feel for your sister.  We did not have biological children in the home before adopting.  If we had, then I would have been devastated at having my bio-kids subjected to some of the scenes we dealt with.  But at same time, your niece is a traumatized child who is a hurting person as well.  It is easy to lose sight of that when the hurting person is hard to like, let alone love.    It is a hard situation all around.
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