Reply to In search of therapist or resources to cope with neices’s reactive attachment disorder

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. My sister and her DH went into this very naively and would not take any advice from other people we knew who had adopted either internationally or within the US with children who had special circumstances. This is attitude has carried over into my nieces care and upbringing in the sense that they will do everything to make it appear that she is emotionally and physically ok, despite a diagnosis and glaring signs.

I’ve had to pull away to protect my kids and they miss their 2 other cousins terribly. My niece had always been manipulative and unremorseful. I work with children how have been abused know that what she threatened my children with in our last visit was indicative of her past Abuse or potential to do it to someone else, potentially sexually. I can’t take this lightly.

However I don’t know how to talk to my sister about any of this without completely destroying our relationship. She knows we’re pulling away already but her defensiveness is a concern. How can I approach this? [/quote]

My friend has an adopted son from overseas and he was officially diagnosed with RAD but she was still unable to accept it.  As the years passed and his behavior became more dangerous, she would shuffle him around to different schools because he is very charming at first to strangers but once the school caught on and kids were getting hurt they would always ask her to move him to another school. Unfortunately, the answer to your question about how to approach this is exactly what you already know it to be- you can't engage with your niece on anything more than a very superficial level and you must keep your children away from her.  Sorry.[/quote]

Was she in denial or doing the best she could?  If its RAD there isn't much that can be done as therapy might help but usually not that effective.[/quote]

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