Reply to 6 Year Old Has No Friends

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I think you're way too worried about this and mainly just jealous that your friends all have daughters who are close and that you can't fully be a part of that. I have a 6.5 year old boy in first grade.  I have better things to do than worry about whether he's doing enough playdates. He sees a few neighbor friends from for outdoor playdates once in a while but we're not part of some "tribe" (ugh) that gets together all the time. I just don't think boys are like that at this age. Several girls from his pre-K class are in an outdoor soccer thing we're doing right now and I can tell they are now "besties". Girls are ahead of boys when it comes to social/emotional stuff and they key in on who is/isn't their best friend, part of their friend group, etc. at an earlier age. I am happy to not have to deal with the drama.

DS is at a private school this year because we felt in person school was important. We'll probably stay at least one more year. He has made friends there but I haven't reached out to any parents because frankly we're in a pandemic and I don't know how responsible they're being outside of school. At least school is a controlled environment with masks. Now isn't really the time to be expanding social circles. I will probably reach out about playdates over the summer with a couple kids he really likes, assuming we're in a better place at that point. I will probably also reach out to the parents of his best friend from pre-K/K to see if they want to meet up outside. We did that once over the summer, but I know this kid has been in virtual school and overall the family has been very cautious. I don't feel right trying to arrange playdates with people who I know are more risk averse than we are. We're trying to stick with people who are on the same page as us right now (in person school with masks, playdates outside only, no gyms or indoor restaurants, etc.).

Stop trying to engineer your kid's social life. Just let him make friends at school, sign him up for activities you are comfortable with and see if he makes friends there. If he is happy that's what matters. And try to separate your friendship with the "girl moms" from your son's friendship (or lack thereof) with their daughters. Just get together without the kids. I have a big group of mom friends that all met when we had our babies. We did playgroups with all the kids for a long time. Before COVID those started to fizzle as kids got into sports etc. I have a feeling we won't do them at all post-COVID and it will just be the moms getting together. Our kids have developed their own personalities and interests by now so there's no point in making them play together. It will all be fine.[/quote]

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