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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Low energy parents - have a second kid?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a 5 year old only child and she’s so self sufficient and we have tons of free time. A big part is that there are two parents, so even if one child needs more attention, there’s a 2:1 ratio and one parent can relax. I think PPs are projecting what they think only children are like based on their experiences of kids with siblings, but my only child mom friends and I text about being bored and having hobbies. Don’t think you’ll be doing that in another 3 years if you have a second.[/quote] Not to be contrary but the moms with only children I know are desperate to find things for their kid to do during Covid. There’s no playmate at home and the parents are stuck playing games, entertaining. Even in the beforetimes, those parents were always reaching out for okay dates while those of us with 2-4 kids had jam packed weekends. [/quote] I am a mom of an only and these are both true. I have to work harder to get my kid socialized because she doesn't have siblings, but also my DH and I are able to tag-team with her and it's glorious. And yes, Covid has been hard on families with only children. But Covid has been hard on lots of people in a variety of ways. At no point during Covid have I though, "Oh, if only we had a second child, this would be so much easier!" I do occasionally wish my child had someone other than me or my husband to bug when she wants attention. I don't think anyone should make a choice about what kind of family to have based on what Covid has been like. It hasn't even been consistent during the pandemic! Sometimes I worry my child is getting lonely, but other times I know I've had it much easier because I only have to worry about one. The most obvious place where this is true is childcare for an elementary age child while schools are closed. Having to pay for one kid's childcare was already an unpleasant surprise. If we'd had two it would have been a real financial problem. The point is, there are always pluses and minuses. There is no set-up with kids where it's easy. Have the number of kids you want and then figure out how to deal with the downsides, whether it's getting your only child socialization or dealing with sibling rivalry. No one "wins" at parenting. You just do it.[/quote]
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