Reply to Sister is angry family discusses physical resemblances in front of adopted child

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[quote=Anonymous]I think everyone needs to respect your sister's wishes on this issue. Adoption stirs up a LOT OF VERY INTENSE FEELINGS!!! My best friend adopted a child who doesn't look at all like her, and I made a couple of terrible bloopers shortly after the adoption. Luckily she didn't lose her temper, and explained all her reasoning and feelings. Please don't make this harder on your sister, and help her out by advocating for her to anyone who doesn't follow her wishes. The advantage to ironing things out now is that by the time this little girl becomes aware, the entire family will have fallen in line. Your sister is wise to exert pressure at this time.

As for not telling this child that she's adopted, I believe your sister is making a mistake... but, she may be acting out of self-defense because all her family is not reacting as she hoped they would, you see? So she might change her mind about that when she starts feeling supported and confident in her role as parent. I think she needs a little time, and when you think the time is right, address the issue gently, and perhaps send her videos and articles by adoption specialists.
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