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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am sorry for your loss.

It seems as though you are making your father's wife the source of all that is wrong, which may not be right.

No one, and I mean no one not even adult kids, knows what really goes on between a couple - their private conversations, their ultimate wishes, their deepest fears and their promises to each other.

"This woman" as you refer to her was with your father for years and has her own side of the story.  You may not know all the details of their relationship.  If your father was poor as you claim then she certainly wasn't a gold digger.

How would you describe your relationship with her?  Did you give her a chance and try to get to know her?  Did you disparage her to your father, making it hard on him?

You made it clear in your post that you do not like her, consider her the source of all ills and claim it's getting nasty.  Why is that? You even seem to resent that your father gave his WIFE help to get disability which she was eligible for.

Have you approached her respectfully (she is grieving too) and asked her if she would please provide you with any of your family photos as it would mean a lot to you and know your father would have liked you to have them?

I'm sorry for your loss but I'm also sorry for this woman your father loved.

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