Reply to Boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the advice. I know I need to get this stuff settled but I'm so scared to make our break up official. We have 3 pets together and have combined our lives so much that it's painful to come to the realization that the future you thought you have is disappearing before your eyes. He says he loves me but needs space to clear things up.. I asked what he means by space since we live together and told I would wait. He said he doesn't want me texting or calling  him and that I should go about the apt as normal but to just let him concentrate on his work when he is home. Basically he doesn't want to hangout and will talk to me in person only. I've stayed strong as much as possible during our conversation but Im dying on the inside. [b]I know I've been stressed the last few months and have been venting a lot to him and that has taken its toll. Previously ive been upset with him about our limited time together and have expressed my sadness when he goes out with friends[/b]. I know I've made mistakes but I've tried to fix them as much as possible. [b]He thinks I've made my life about him and that he feels like he's responsible for my happiness[/b]. I've tried explaining that I have a life it's just different from his. I'm a homebody and he likes bars, just because I don't want to go out drinking with my friends all the time doesn't mean I'm home crying over him being out.

I just don't know how to plead my case (without crying) and make him understand that I love him, I'm not trying to hold him back from living his life and that I want to be his support system. Maybe I'm just naive in thinking he would actually want me back but I feel if I don't at least try to save this relationship I will regret it.

-op[/quote]

OP, read your bolded text above, do you think maybe he has a point that you've made your life about him?

I know the break up hurts and you feel like you are indeed losing your "whole" life but that's hardly the truth. You will live through this and you will move on, that is an inevitable fact of life. Start actively planning how to separate your finances, THAT is the only thing you have control over right now, the rest of it is all beyond your control and you will only drive yourself bonkers grasping at those straws.

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