Reply to Help having a conversation with a friend from a different financial situation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks. [b]I wonder if our situations are just so different we can’t really be close friends. [/b]

I more or less said that and she just responds defensively about how they don’t have salary- just live off investments, they aren’t as rich as I think they are, they have a mortgage too, etc..

I do find it a little bit of “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” ... if you’re rich and want to talk about your money, own it and I’ll be happy for you but don’t act like you’re “just like us” at the same time or try to give advice on what we should do or spend on based on your budget when you clearly know we can’t spend $500k on a kitchen remodel. This conversation started because I was showing her photos of a beautiful remodel in my neighborhood in a home comparable to my own and she was critiquing everything “that’s paint grade cabinets, that’s a middle grade range.. our cabinets alone were $150k” I don’t know how to explain to someone why we 1. could never and 2. would never put $150k cabinets in our home .. it seems obvious someone would know you just wouldn’t get that back in resale unless the house is $5mil. I said “well this is in line with what we would do and what makes sense for our home price point and area” ... I don’t get it. I have plenty of friends who things are understood without saying. I also wouldn’t suggest my social worker friend move into our neighborhood or upgrade, knowing that it’s likely not a possibility. [/quote]

It's not because your situations are different. You can't be close friends because she sounds like a real asshole.

1) The size of your house is none of her business and it's beyond rude to comment on it. 
2) You've told her multiple times that getting a different house is not in your plans and she continues to push it. Who does that? 
3) Why is this so important to her? I'll tell you why. She doesn't want to be friends who live in what she considers a low class, tiny little house. She doesn't care about you. She cares about status.

So.... why are you friends with this person? Have a little self-respect and kick her to the curb. [/quote]

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