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[quote=Anonymous]OP I just read this book called "It's OK that you're not OK"

The author's husband drowned in a freak accident.

The book is really for anyone, but focuses on speaking to those who have lost someone in an untimely way, i.e. young husband or a child.

It is SO helpful for someone both in your friend's situation AND in your situation to read this book.

So I would order this book and send it to her, and order one for yourself.

If you look at the reviews, you will see that people are so grateful for this book, which deviates from the "stages of grief" model etc.

The summary is, our culture does not teach about grief, so friends/family of people in grief often make the situation worse by trying to help, but saying and doign the wrong things.

People in grief do NOT want others telling them it will be okay, that they will get past this, that thank God they have two other children, that the child is in a better place, etc. etc.

What people in grief want is someone to witness their pain.  To sit there and listen and not try and argue it away.

We all want to do that because we want our loved one to feel better, but it just makes them feel unheard.  So we need to just be there, and say things like, "I can't make it better for you, but I'm here to listen."[/quote]

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