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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, reading the responses here and very much glad that I realized extremely early on that both parents working at FT, in-office jobs, with no family nearby and not enough income to afford FT+ care, would suck.

I left my FT job after my first was born. Was not the original plan, but was looking down the gun at the kinds of schedules people have described in this thread, had PPD, and didn't like my job that much. It was hard on one income for a bit but we made it. I never had any intention of being a fully SAHM -- I just didn't want to be FT in an office 40 hours a week with a job that was going to be annoyed at me for leaving at a specific time in order to pick up my infant child from the daycare I didn't really like that much but was what was available and that we could afford.

I picked up contract work here and there for about a year, not much income but when you added it to our savings from not doing any childcare at all, it really wasn't bad. Second year was harder because a mobile toddler who doesn't nap as much is much harder to care for while also doing freelance work. At that point I had to find part time childcare, which took some work but was doable. Then by the third year, I had a fully flexible job working anywhere from 15-20 hours a week, plus a good set up with about 10 hours a week of childcare. I make up the difference in the evenings and weekends, which is fine because my DH, who works a normal 9-5, is very involved and also very committed to me staying employed, and enjoys that time with his kid.

Soon child will be in PK, which since we live in DC will be free. Thanks to my flexible schedule and PT status, we don't expect to need to pay for before or aftercare, so our childcare costs will go to zero (save for the occasional babysitter for date nights since, again, no local family or other options).

As my kid gets older and needs me less, I'd like to work on my career more and see if I can step up the kind of work I do to demand higher rates and also just get to work on more interesting projects. I am fortunate to have a couple women in my field how both hire me for a lot of work and serve as mentors -- they are both working moms with much older kids and have been absolutely a lifeline through all of this. Through Covid in particular, when our childcare shut down for months and I was kind of losing my mind, they showed me a lot of grace and kindness and helped make sure that I didn't become one of the many women who had to drop out of the workforce altogether thanks to Covid. I am so grateful to them.

I have zero regrets about any of this. It's worked out about as well as it possibly could have, which is ignoring some pretty tough times (mostly the financial stuff in that second year of my kid's life when I was struggling to find time to work and also trying to find reliable PT childcare that fit our budget and it was very challenging). But as others have mentioned, I always kept my eyes on my long-term goal, which was a meaningful but highly flexible job so that I always have my own income but also the ability to really be there for my kid.

We are on the fence about a second kid. If we do it, we kind of have to do it now because if I ramp up my career and then get pregnant, the timing will suck. I think we are probably just going to stick with one, but you never know.[/quote]

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