Reply to I can’t get rid of my soon to be ex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You should connect with a battered women's hotline, and ask for advice on how to proceed with the restraining order and the divorce. They will have advice about how to do these things in the safest manner. Meanwhile, document all episodes of unwanted communication and call the police each and every time. No need to warn him. Call the police. Call all your relatives to say that he may pose a physical threat to you and to not give him any new information about you. Get a lawyer. Think about where to go in an emergency and think about moving somewhere else permanently. Have a go bag ready.[/quote]

+1. And I second reading "The Gift of Fear," especially the part about never responding/no contact. Basically, the stalker/abuser perceives any contact as positive - even negative contact like "Don't talk to me anymore." It's also likely when you implement this that he will initially get angrier in an attempt to re-engage you.

I don't know what to tell you about family members - are they sympathetic to him? This may be something the domestic violence hotline can answer.

I am so sorry you are going through this.  Good luck.[/quote]

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