Reply to How do I get my family to stop sending unwanted gifts?

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[quote=Anonymous]The bottom line is, you can make requests, but what someone else chooses to do is ultimately out of your hands. So you have to work with what your situation is rather than what you wish it was.

I say this as someone who has been in your shoes. I was raised that gifts were sentimental objects, so it was hard but necessary to rearrange my thinking to understand that I could love the well-wishes while still passing the objects themselves along to people who could make better use of them.

I have a MIL who always felt slighted growing up except for her grandmother who gave her special treats when she could. Fast forward, she is wealthy, loves her grandchildren dearly, and wants to embody the magical grandma that she had, and she really goes overboard with the gifts. Instead of an art kit and a bag of dd's favorite candy as a surprise when they visit, it's a suitcase full of markers and crayons and 10 pounds of the candy, all for one child.

So we thank her, and then when they leave, we share these treasures with our local women's shelter. And so on. We have a tiny home, more than we will ever need, and feel lucky to be able to have so much extra to share with those who aren't on the receiving end of things like us.[/quote]

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