Reply to Divorced parents - how did you handle living arrangements after 18?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It just depends.  If your child is [i]moving back in because of a trauma or problem, or is pregnant, or is a NEET[/i], that is one thing because the parent is having to take on a challenging situation with no clear end.  If it is a summer break or a semester distance learning due to covid, that is different.  If it is just about holiday breaks from college, why not do 50/50, it's just a few weeks so what is the big deal?  The way you phrase it as "after turning 18" would capture a lot of high school seniors and I doubt anyone is tossing their child out on their birthday.  [/quote]

And, again, if divorced, how do you make the choice about were they should live in the first situation? Here again, I feel like I was ostracized from their lives for nearly 18 years - very little but a monthly check, in reality - and really feel like it should be the ex who should deal with this kind of situation.

Has anyone had this experience? I'm asking from a parent's perspective.[/quote]

You either tell the child yes, yes with conditions, or no.  You aren't obligated to say yes.  But your child isn't obligated to like it if you say no.  It is as simple as that.  Your child's other parent can also say yes or no.  I feel like it is unclear what you are actually asking.  Nobody has to deal with this situation, because the child is 18.  It is entirely optional.  You can try to have a closer and more supportive relationship, or a more distant one with strong boundaries can be your goal.  It is up to you.  [/quote]

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