Reply to My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as far as I can tell, you are a working mom with three kids, two of whom are high needs, and you have little help. That is EXTREMELY tough, and it's impossible for a 9 year old to grasp.  If she is also the healthy one, she may perceive a difference in treatment.

Maybe you can try spending some extra quality time with her (easier said than done) and reassure her that she is always going to be your first baby, that she is oldest and thus most capable, and that you count on her, but that you understand she also wants to play and be a kid.

It's understandable that you would lose your cool occasionally in these circumstances. I have two "easy" kids, a very helpful husband, and even I yell sometimes. We are human.

You are doing a terrific job.

PS Hearing "I hate you" etc goes with the pre-teen and teen territory in many cases. It's not actually a reflection of your parenting. It means "in this moment, you are making me do what I do not want to do and my flight or fight response is kicking in hard, and I don't know what to do with that. And since I know you love me no matter what, I can just scream at you."[/quote]

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