Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

As a Jewish parent of three boys-I fully understand the process.  However, many, non-Jews especially don't and I don't expect them to.  We would welcome all of our kids' friends to the service but no way am I expecting them all to come nor will I judge them for only coming to the party.  We are celebrating an important milestone and I see the service more as a family event.  The entire school doesn't need to be there, hopefully their best friends will and that's what counts.  I am not going to spend the day keeping tally of who attended what because I don't care.  [/quote]

PP here. I totally understand what you're saying. And I'd never judge anyone who skipped the service out of unfamiliarity with Judiasm. In fact, if someone skipped, I'd likely assume they either had a conflict or were simply unfamiliar with Judiasm. But, this thread was started by someone wanting to be educated on the etiquette of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. It sounds like the OP has a legitimate conflict. But, other folks might read this. Or, the OP may be invited to another Bar Mitzvah. So, since they were asking, I'm going to be upfront. The ceremony is the big deal. The party is just a party.[/quote]

point taken however, I personally don't agree.  Yes the ceremony is an absolutely BIG deal, but more for those that are close to the child.  And yes a party is a party but it marks the end of a very long process and day and it is simply about having a great time with friends-all friends.  I guess I see it as the more the merrier, let's celebrate and have fun.  I see this as a personal journey that should be cherished by those who have been there for the entire process.  I would say that if you can attend the service the family would be very happy but if we only see you at the party, I hope you have a great time!  [/quote]

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