Reply to Bar/Bat Mitzvah etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
 
I agree. I expect our kids' [b]closest friends[/b] to attend services but most of their friends will just attend the party.  I see the services as a family/close friends event and the party more of a free for all.  [/quote]

This is an important distinction.  I expect my kid's close friends would attend the service, but I think its fine if casual acquaintances or those kids who know my kid through mutual activities, school, synagogue, but who are not good friends come to the party alone.  We make these same distinctions as adults.  When a close friend holds an event, we go.  When a casual work friend has an event, we might go to part of it or make an appearance to be nice.  Depending on the relationship or the circumstances, different levels of participation are acceptable. [/quote]

All I can say is that my kids would have been VERY disappointed if they had looked out and seen only a few very close friends. They did not think of the service as only special for grandparents and best friends, and that is not the norm in this area. Just go to a few B'nai Mitzvot and look at the crowd - no-one has that many very close friends.

That said, for a child with a real conflict, they were not offended if the friend only came to the party, as long as they knew in advance.[/quote]

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