Reply to Getting coffee with an ex-boyfriend

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Reply to "Getting coffee with an ex-boyfriend - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I would absolutely do it, regardless of whether DW liked it or not.[/b]  I'd be up front and honest about it.  But frankly, there's no place for petty jealousy in our marriage, and if those feelings come up, it's her job to deal with them as an adult, just like it would be my job to do so if the roles were reversed.[/quote]

I'm trying to see your point, but quite honestly, that is just disrespectful to your wife.  You don't get to unilaterally determine what is "petty" and what isn't in a marriage.  Your wife gets a say as well and if she felt uncomfortable with it, calling her "petty" and doing it anyways is pretty obnoxious.  Clearly she doesn't think it falls into "petty jealousy
. You are essentially telling her that your needs (to have coffee with an ex) are more important than her feelings.
[/quote]

By the same token, the irrational among us don't get to dictate the terms of their relationships.  That's why both - the "absolutely I would go no matter what she said" and the "if he's upset I absolutely wouldn't go" are both wrong.  (Good rule of thumb there - anytime you say ayou woudl absolutely never (or always) do something, you're probably a little too far out on the limb.)  Context and nuance are everything.  Absolutes are silly in this situation.  [/quote]

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