Reply to May be at the end of secondary infertility journey with no second child. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my situation is different than your since I had primary and secondary IF. I'm also not sure if you are looking for treatment advice or emotional support.

What I can share is that when I reached your situation trying for #1 (albeit younger so stats are a little different), I sought a second opinion. That allowed for a complete review of my medical records by fresh eyes. For me, this resulted in surgery for Asherman's and then a fresh cycle with a very different protocol (and ultimately a healthy, viable pregnancy). I think that no matter what, when you've had 2 non-viable cycles, a second opinion is worth it. It'll give you peace of mind, if nothing else, that nothing obvious was missed.

With respect to the bigger question, I can't entirely say. Having one child felt like a miracle for us. I experienced a loss with my first FET attempt for #2 (an embryo from the same cycle as DC1), and I seriously considered whether I was just tempting fate trying to have a second. But, ultimately, we were successful for #2...and for us, in retrospect, I think it was worth it.

But, I also think we were lucky. I had good insurance and very understanding employers. Statistically, DH and I should be divorced multiple times over for what our IF journey threw in our way. We were also younger, and at different career and life stages.

My point is that IF treatment takes a considerable toll on your health, your life, and your marriage. I will never forget my older DC finding me sobbing and looking scared when I had just started to miscarry. With DC1, before we found success, I had finally reached a place where I was able to tell myself that I would be okay no matter what. DH, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, everyone in my life was my family. And families take many shapes and forms.

GL. There is no right answer. If you're looking for what I would do next if I were you, I'd get a second opinion from a different RE. But I'd also really be trying to find a way to be okay with the way my family looks today.[/quote]

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