Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  They no longer work together but I'm just wondering if anyone truly gets over the feelings of intense betrayal and disappointment in a way that a real marriage is actually possible going forward. [/quote]

I'm so sorry OP.  Sending you a big hug and affirmation that you did not cause this situation, and that you cannot fix it for your husband.  Whatever you do, don't go to counseling with him.  This situation is not about building a bridge between the two of you.  You didn't cheat.  He did.  He can go to counseling by himself and commit himself to figuring out why he thought it was ok to betray you and your/his children.  Absolutely you should to go counseling for, and by, yourself if you are seeking emotional support and grounding.  The pain is excruciating.  Read all the comments you can from people who have posted about surviving.  Surviving the pain seems impossible but it's not, and you are your best ally for yourself and your kids.  Do what you need to to keep your sanity for your sake and for your kids.  Your husband basically is not the person you thought he was.  He hid his pain and abused you.  He clearly could not stop himself.  Maybe he will be able to stop himself, in the future, before treating someone this way, but you continue to be at risk because he does not understand what he did to you.[/quote]

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