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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'm so sorry. My dad died alone and most likely scared, he was an alcoholic who wouldn't stop drinking and wasn't getting proper treatment. He bled out from esophageal varices and from the amount of bloody vomit in his room, he was conscious before he died.

I guess my only advice is to let yourself process things. I know it hurts, but I tried to avoid thinking about it and then the guilt, regret, and memories would sneak up on me at my weakest moments and I just couldn't handle it. I remember having to hide at work because I kept breaking down. I would have sleepless nights because I just kept thinking about how alone he probably felt and how I could have called or visited him before he died but I didn't.

Time and my husband are what finally helped me, but I really think if I had just let myself process things I would have avoided months of not feeling like myself. I got really good at burying all the thoughts and feelings to avoid dealing with them. I can see now (7 years later) how unhealthy that was. The more you think about something the easier it is to think about, it's really as simple as that. Find your support (husband, therapist, friends) and just talk it out as many times as it takes for it to not hurt as much.[/quote]

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