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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm watching The Undoing and am intrigued by narcissism. How can you tell your SO is a narcissist? Any telltale signs? I suspect my DH is one.[/quote]

They are on the spectrum and present as selfish, narcissistic, thoughtless, careless. Also lies, omits and gaslights to cover up mistakes, which are frequent.

In reality, they have mind blindness, no foresight, can only talk about their favorite things, and can’t care or take care of anything.

But a true narcissistic can and will use emotion to manipulate, hFA individuals don’t care and are emotionless (unless having a temper tantrum).[/quote]

hFA?[/quote]

High functioning autism= aspergers.  Ok with the speaking and eye contact, Tho will move convos in order to lecture on fave 1-2 topics. [/quote]

High functioning aspergers are in no means narcissists.  Narcissists ooze charm, something somebody with asperger's is incapable of doing.  Narcissists know how to use emotion to use and abuse.  Asperger's are devoid of emotion and have zero EQ.  They wouldn't know how to begin to skillfully manipulate and gaslight someone.[/quote]

This is true! Also HFA are usually so practical and logical that they take your statement at face value and emotions don’t cloud their judgment. That is helpful when discussing or sharing criticism, but it is also difficult for them to express the same type of love and affection that makes their partner feel loved.

I have a wonderful HFA girlfriend and there is no way she could be so self absorbed as a narcissist. And the narcissist I am thinking of would immediately dismiss any possibility of self-reflection. They literally fake it until they make it. Everything they do mirrors what they see, good or bad. They learn how to piece together normal human behavior in a manipulative manner. This is also why they’re attracted to well adjusted intelligent ans particularly empathetic women. Really easy to mirror sentiments of an emoter and store those tricks in their actors manual of manipulation.[/quote]

What makes it worse is they have the ability to make even most therapists think they are wonderful. They are experts at manipulation and charm. That compounds the feelings of isolation and thinking you are absolutely crazy. Their personas at home and outside of the home are often very different. It's easy for them to portray as the 'crazy one'...and, again, they are never at fault in their eyes. It is always somebody else's fault for driving or making them do whatever ill behavior they choose to partake...[/quote]

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