Reply to How do you handle school breaks when coparenting?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - to clarify, we are in the middle of an in-house separation that ends in April. We have no plans to reconcile as he is a serial cheater and has moved on with his latest AP. However, he won't move in with her bc he's not allowed to have our kids overnight with her until the one year period is over. It's basically a $hitshow.

I guess I'm just not sure how I can "force" him to be responsible for the kids for half of each school break (or even some small part of it). We haven't definitively decided on a custody split yet, but he has made it clear he is uninterested in anything near 50/50. It's not like child support is going to make up for my lost vacation time either. [/quote]

Tell him to get the h#ll out.  He is living in the house to parent and if he's not willing to be a parent, then he needs to get his own place.  Tell him these are the times you need him to take off to watch the kids and if not he needs to find/pay for child care.  Tell him you will not share custody if he's not going to step up and help and he can have every other weekend and Wednesday's.  Stop being nice.  Let him have overnights with her.  That seems a bit silly.  Just say that she cannot be alone with them.  After she has the kids with him a few weekends, which isn't what she planned, she'll probably dump him (and don't take him back).[/quote

OP again - I've tried, trust me. I've even said I would sign something saying I wouldn't claim desertion if it meant he'd leave now. I'm not sure exactly what his motivation is for not leaving, but shady is as shady does. It's not about me letting them have overnights. In Virginia, it's considered adultery to be sleeping with someone else, even during the separation phase. He's afraid I'll nail him to the wall. Or maybe gf doesn't want them around, I really have zero clue what goes in their relationship, nor do I care. My children however, do not even know she exists yet.

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Regardless of where he lives let’s be real he’s sleeping with her and it’s adultery.  I’d pack up his crap, drop it off to her house, change the locks and send him a visitation schedule and file for child support. [/quote]

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