Reply to my marriage is being ruined by a generator! Help!

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[quote=Anonymous]Op you need to step away from this and try and see it more rationally. I imagine your husband has dug in his heels because you flew off the handle like an insane person. deal with each of the issues with him when you are calm in a non confrontational manner.

1. Buying large purchases with consulting you. is this a conversation you have had before and something you had decided on? If yes then discuss why he didn't honor this agreement, if no then talk about why you would like to be included in future purchases.

2. set aside your feelings that he thinks that his servers are more important than you and the baby. Likely this is not the case at all and you telling him this or insinuating this is only going to make him justifiably mad. Many men feel a bit lost the first few months of a new baby as they get pretty much pushed to the side and it can be a rough adjustment. Also you seem to have a bit of 'my baby' syndrome and hormones or not you need to respect him as an equal parent. If by some chance he truly doesn't care about you or the baby then you need counseling ASAP and the generator really isn't the issue.

3. Discuss the distance the generator should be in a rational manner. Maybe tell him you don't know much about them but while you can see the benefits of having a generator (they sell out because they are beneficial to have) you found the noise and exhaust to be irritating. Ask him if he can print you off some details about the generator so you can learn more about it. You can look for info too and share this with him. next time a 'hon can you move that farther away from the door' would be a better approach then "YOU ARE KILLING MY BABY'.

4. You don't need to call the police or threaten divorce and if you have mentioned either to him over the generator issue then you need to  apologize. Who you should call is a therapist to deal with your anxiety / overreaction issues (unless this is an aberration and can be chalked up to hormones and sleep deprivation) and a marriage counselor to help the two of you communicate better so you aren't caught in a unhealthy power struggle over a generator. [/quote]

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