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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound awful, OP.[/quote]

Really? Why? Because I don't have a close relationship with my brother and I don't want to be responsible for his being his mental health support system when we have little to no other substantive relationship and I have zero professional experience with that type of thing? I should just be at his disposal for emotional outbursts? Is that what my responsibility is? I am honestly asking because I don't understand my role here. [/quote]

Yes. He's your brother. You can't listen to him once every couple of months? You would really be comfortable just saying, "Not my problem" and moving on -- about your own brother?[/quote]

I was fine with listening every couple of months until he started verbally attacking me. Now I know that I need some boundaries. My question is, how to set them appropriately and what I am responsible for as his younger sibling.

I don't understand the words "about your own brother" as this is also part of my question. What is the responsibility that siblings have to one another? We have nothing in common (except parents) and have never gotten along or had shared interests, etc. What is the expectation for how I interact with him given these facts.[/quote]

NP. Although you absolutely have the right to set boundaries with your brother, and should, you sound very detached and emotionally void. Almost like a clinical observer. You seem unaware of this. Your brother is probably picking up on it and is responding to it (not that he has the right to). It may be worth therapy for you also to discuss the shared childhood trauma. It may be affecting you in ways you don’t realize. [/quote]
I picked up in the same thing. OP you need to do your own work as well.
Your parents did a number on both if you.[/quote]

I do think that I have a lower threshold for sustaining emotional abuse due to the family history. I have had to set very firm boundaries with abusive people and am especially wary of people who are toxic for my mental health. From the work that I have done, this is what is healthiest for me. I think this situation is thorny due to the shared history, but I actually think it makes it MORE important for me to have boundaries given the shared problematic history. Some of the patterns that I am seeing from him are definitely echos of experiences I have had with abusive members of our family. I am not ever going to enable those behaviors.

I am very sorry that he is hurting, but it does not change the fact that I am not able to give him the support he needs and I fail to understand how I can be expected to given the nature of our relationship (we are not close at all and have never been). I am looking for advice on how to best maintain an appropriate relationship with a mentally ill sibling without letting it become damaging to either of us. I am trying to describe the situation with as much relevant details as possible. How could I ask this question in an anonymous forum and sound anything but like an emotionally void observer?[/quote]

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