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[quote=Anonymous]Jane Goodall poster here.

I think a lot of this can depend on the specific personality of your parent. I understand why some people go no contact or use the grey rock method. But for instance, with my mom, that would never work. She's not a true narcissist, though she has a lot of narcissistic behaviors. But she is deeply insecure and attempting to go NC or using grey rock will just intensify her efforts to manipulate and control. She will become frantic, calling 10 times a day and involving other family members in trying to force me to engage. I am simply not ready to truly never speak to my mother again, especially because she is old.

So for me, I use a variety of things to "handle" the relationship. Physical distance has been very useful, as it's kind of like grey rock without the work, because being physically far away has helped my mom, over time, find other outlets for her behavior (unfortunately sometimes other people, but I can't be in charge of them). And then detachment helps me with the rest. It works for me, but I can see how it might not work for everyone.[/quote]

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