Reply to Is my almost-4 yr old "high needs"?

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Reply to "Is my almost-4 yr old "high needs"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, there is a big difference between K and 2nd grade and a 4 yo. Second, your friend sounds judgmental. Third, all kids are different. I have a 4yo and he is different from my friends' 4yos. He is easier is some ways, and more high maintenance in other ways. Overall, a 4yo should be able to play with other kids with little to no parent involvement. However, were the other kids interested in playing with your 4yo? We have friends with a 7yo, who is great at playing with out 4yo. I am not sure there is anything to do right now during the pandemic, but assuming things are better next fall, your child may benefit from preschool[/quote]

OP here. This feels very common sense to me.

For what it's worth, the other kids did try to play with him, which might be what prompted my friend's comment. He didn't want to. I am big on respecting boundaries that he wants to set so I didn't push him. If he had seemed interested in playing with them but unsure about it, I might have tried to encourage it a little more or start a group game that I could bow out of once he was engaged. But he's just in this phase where he does not want to play with other kids. I can't force him to do it. I could refrain from playing with him myself, but I would like to deploy that on a day that I'm not trying to enjoy some time with friends right after a holiday, since I know it will cause some strife.

I do hope that being in PK will help a lot. My theory is that when he is with lots of kids his own age and they all start at the same time, he will have an easier time finding his way. I also think that because of his current attachment to DH and I, he's just going to gravitate to us as long as we're around, but at PK when we aren't there, he will start to develop these other social skills.

I'm somewhat surprised by how many people on the thread feel that a 3/4 year should already those skills. When we were trying to decide on whether to do PK this year, the feedback we got a lot of was "It's not a big deal, it's fine if he doesn't get a ton of socialization until next year." That's why I was surprised by my friend's comment. I had never gotten the sense that socializing was something that had to be done by this age -- it seems like the goal is to be pretty fully socialized by K, but not that you have to start at 3 or it's a problem.[/quote]

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