Reply to Is my almost-4 yr old "high needs"?

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Reply to "Is my almost-4 yr old "high needs"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That was mean of your friend to say.

If you're at a new playground with new kids, especially older ones, I think it's normal for your kid to be a little bit clingy.

I personally (just my uneducated opinion based on my two kids) that in general it's kind of not ideal for your kid to be playing with you vs. other kids, or just exploring the playground. I have seen with my own friends that the ones who are all about interacting with their kids constantly and "teaching" them stuff and entertaining from birth do end up with kids who can't really play alone.[/quote]

No one wants a kid who won't play alone or can't play with other kids. No one. There is no parenting philosophy that's like "Provide constant, 100% parental interaction with your child from birth until you have to send them to school."

If you see parents like OP at the playground who are spending most of the time interacting with their kid, you are very likely observing a parent of a child who is just not ready to be more independent yet. Or, they are independent in other settings but anxious around lots of other kids on the playground. So that parent is providing support.

My 3 yr old will happily play on her own on an empty playground. And if there is only one, or maybe two, other kids there, and those kids are pretty chill, she will either play on her own or maybe even play with the kids. But on a busy playground, especially if there are lots of older kids around or the kids are really loud and boisterous, she will want me to play with her 100% of the time. I don't love it, honestly. I mean, I love her, but a break would be great. And of course I want her to have the skills to play on her own or to do collaborative play with other kids. But SHE'S 3. She's shy, and the pandemic hasn't helped. So I play with her.

Anyway, I think you are assuming things about other parents because you don't have the experience of parenting an only child, or parenting kids who struggle a bit socially. It would be like if I saw you with your kids at the playground, and thought, "Wow, look at their mom who refuses to play with her children and forces them to entertain each other -- what a restrictive and potentially damaging parental approach." When really it's just that your kids get along and like to play together, or with others, and you facilitate that, as you should.[/quote]

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