Reply to Some concerns about wedding, house and kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I am 34, and I have been dating a guy (age 35) for almost a year. I am high school grad, and I am currently unemployed (was a low pay job), have no savings, and lives with my elderly parents. I am hoping to get married soon and I want to have kids & to be a housewife.

Because of my age, I don't have too much time to waste to have 1 or 2 kids. And, because of our heritages, we cannot have kids till after we get married. The guy I date seems to be a decent guy, and I get some hints that he may pop the question to me next year. He tells me once that he will definitely buy a house before we gets married. Currently, he is living with some friends together. My family has been asking me some questions that I don't know how to answer, and they have been pushing me to get married soon.

1) My parents have traditional mindset, and they want a wedding reception here and back at hometown (foreign county). With covid, I don't think it is realistic to have any reception, but I am also not satisfied with getting married without reception (city hall marriage certificate only). Because of my age, both parents of my side & his side want us to get married soon to have grandkids. What are the best solutions? How about honeymoon? Do you think it is realistic to think everything will be back to normal at the end of next year?

2) If he decides to buy a house before we get married, normally will he also put my name on the house? I don't have any savings or income, is it reasonable for me to request him to put my name on it as well? Does it matter if we get divorced one day and my name is not on this pre-married purchased property? If we get married, we will get married in Maryland.

3) His parents express their wishes for us to have grandkid as soon as possible if we decide to get married. Because of my age, I understand that I will be considered high risk if I get pregnant. I do want kids, but do couple try to have kids right away after they get married? Is this common? I am not planning to work anymore, and stay as a housewife once I get married.

Thank you.[/quote]

No offense OP but I dont think you are in a position of having everything you and your family want, so you need to prioritize.

1) first, how secure are things with the boyfriend? Have you talked marriage? Does he understand your desire to continue to not work? 
2) I'm not sure why you dont have any savings if you have been working and live with your parents--are you spending money frivolously or on your family? How financially literate are you? I think that if you do get married, ,it makes more sense (unless boyfriend is loaded) to have a courthouse wedding and host a reception in your home country later, when you can. 
3) at your age, I would not wait to get proposed, plan a wedding, get mraried and then try for a baby. If you feel you must be married first, then just get married and start trying. 
4) what will you do if you can't get pregnant? Or if your boyfriend turns out not to want to get married? You obviously need another plan. 34, with a high school education and living with your parents--you need to do something that will help you become more independent. Like others, I suggest college (whether or not you get married), community college, trade school...something. As they say, a man is not a plan. 
5) You esp need to do this because marriages dont always last. What happens if you divorce with kids and you have no skills for a better paying job?
6) If your boyfriend buys a house on his own before marriage and does not commingle marital funds toward mortgage or improvement, then it can stay out of community property. He can add you to the deed, but he does not have to. Again, this is another sign that you need to protect your future by getting a job, going to school. You can do this AND have kids.

What is your plan if he doesn't want to get married, OP? That should be your plan anyway. 
[/quote]

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