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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine does this, too, and it drives me bonkers.  It's this veiled way of criticizing.  I just say, "Why do you ask?" to all of them.  Then he either has to back off, or he has to make the criticism overtly.  [/quote]

How is that veiled? How the eff do you guys live with partners who are trying to make you feel like shit, fully intentionally?[/quote]

Because, honestly, that's not his conscious intention.  If you asked him, he'd say he was trying to be helpful, and that's what he genuinely thinks.  He's condescending, not negging.  He's "just asking a question," so if I bring it out in the open directly, I turn into the one picking the fight, and I just can't deal with that all the time.  It's just easier to deflect it this way, because I don't have the energy for arguments.  [/quote]

I would say something along the lines of, I really think you are trying to be helpful but what I hear in your questions is criticism and that is upsetting to me, am I right that is not what you intended?  Try to speak honestly without accusing.

I seriously had no idea that I had a habit of responding in a very condescending manner when I was surprised that someone did not know something I thought was common knowledge until DH pointed it out to me.  Literally a 40 plus year manner of speaking to people I care about and nothing could be further from my intent.  [/quote]

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