Reply to when you realize you can't be yourself with your spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We go through days like this and then days when we finish each other’s sentences. I am trying to refrain from letting anything solidify during this craziness. If it’s gotten worse since mid-March, try to let it roll until the external crazy ends, if you can. [/quote]

OP here. I'm trying. In addition to everything I listed above, things are starting to feel very transactional, again, as if I'm dealing with an annoyed roommate who has become very tit for tat. Lots of keeping score, like, "I made the kids lunch so you can make them dinner" (never mind that I was just about to get them pizza). Or, you went jogging so now it's MY turn. Ok, I get it, you don't have to be an a$$hole and act like I took a long girls weekend without your blessing because I went running for 20 minutes. There is always a feeling of accusation that makes me think he wants an argument. And I'm not a fight picker. I don't have the energy for it. I don't know... I'm starting to feel like there is a huge void that I can't spend the rest of my life staring at. I'm not looking for greener grass. It's more, how do you really want to live for the next 30 years?

[/quote]

One of my best friends married in the early 80s and moved away. We wrote to each other frequently. I remember her mentioning in a letter that some weeks she and her husband were just roommates, and looking back there were other signs of the eggshells, which wasn't really characteristic of her as a person.  It all hit the fan when they were buying their house and the down payment had disappeared from the bank--he had spent it.

Two years later, she met a guy at her work--he worked in IT, she was a system admin who got called in one night for a crisis. She came in yelling and he was immediately smitten. They have been married now for approaching 30 years and are completely in synch. He has a wicked crazy sense of humor and they pretend to fight over his practical jokes but are absolutely devoted to each other and all her friends and family adore him. [/quote]

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