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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seems like your narrative is trying to fit a specific diagnosis.  He could just be quirky, lazy, and immature.  [/quote]

OP here. This is true! I am just wondering...I sometimes feel there is something "off" about him and can't quite tell if its due to some disorder or he is just quirky.[/quote]

New poster. Do you have children? A PP earlier in the thread asked this too. I would never presume to tell a stranger "don't have children" but I do think that, if you don't already have kids, you need to get more serious about his "quirks" than just posting on an anonymous internet forum. There have been many posts over the years from mothers here saying "my DH can't cope with the kids, my kid got hurt on DH's watch because he spaced out, my DH leaves me to do everything for and with the kids because he's off in his own world...." and so on. If that might lie ahead for you, you and he need to get to work on these traits or you can expect to be, effectively, the sole parent. At least, the sole parent who arranges things, takes care  of essentials, and handles discipline. Do you want to be that parent, or do you want to actually talk to your DH about how his "quirks" affect your kids and your marriage?

One other thing. At the end you toss out the comment, "He always needs to use something to calm or soothe himself. He developed alcoholism and stopped alcohol but now he has to chew snus! Its like he can't relax if he isn't on some substance." That is a huge, huge red flag. I doubt that chewing nuts will always be a sufficient coping mechanism -- especially if you add the stress of kids or if your current kids get older and more demanding. One doesn't usually "develop alcoholism" and then simply stop it effectively. Some people can stop drinking but you do realize that they remain alcoholics, right, OP? They are still addictive personalities whether the addiction is alcohol, food, sex, whatever. You need to realize that he will turn to  other things, or back to alcohol, when stressed in the future.

You need some professional advice, and soon. [/quote]

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