Reply to Help with coparenting when spouse is leaving for AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP needs to be prepared for changing reality. What if the EX and his new wife have kids? Half siblings of her own kids. You gotta play nice.[/quote]

OP, As I said in my original post, the AP has no children. She is considerably younger. I am aware of a changing reality, that’s life with divorce. What I am trying to do is make that reality less damaging for my kids. They don’t deserve any of this.[/quote]

Oh, I’m sorry you meant if they have kids together. My bad. Yes, I realize that is a likely scenario given her age. I would never, ever make things more difficult for my children or their half siblings. Even for the AP, especially if she becomes my kids’ stepmother. Right now, however, she is the woman my husband is leaving me for and I don’t want her around. I’m entitled to that. [/quote]

It's understandable that you don't want her around, but I don't think it's realistic that he would want to do holidays with you and not her, leaving her alone, or that those holidays would be anything other than painful and awkward.  In the long run, especially if he has more kids, he's even less likely to want to do holidays with you his ex-wife.  So you can try to force everyone into some really slow gradual transition, but that likely won't last very long, or you can rip the band-aid off and enter your new normal of separate holidays.  I don't think one or the other is really better for the kids and it's unclear to me why you think gradual is better.  Especially because he's clearly willing to disappoint and mistreat you and the children, so he might flake even if you do plan a holiday together.[/quote]

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