Reply to Different Fitness Levels

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Different Fitness Levels"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your options are basically accept it or don't accept it.

I'm the wife in our case. I love exercising - I do it a couple hours every day. If my husband never got off the couch again, he'd be happy.

We've talked about it every which way and at the end of the day, it's just not up to me. He is his own person with his own body, and even if he'd be healthier - and would feel better about himself, and all those things - he's just not interested in exercising more. Or at all.

I don't know what else there is to do about it. You don't get to make someone else be who you want them to be, even if you sure do know what's good for them.

My advice for you and your wife is - just accept that she is who she is, and it's not the person who wants to exercise a lot. If you can't accept that, then - well, you know.[/quote]

I'm a planner by trade, and we always run "no-build" scenarios for any improvement we consider. I am aware that this might very well be such a case and I might have to accept it and  move forward. But I thought it would be productive to at least try. I am not going to divorce over something like this, I know what battles to fight and which ones to concede.[/quote]

I think this is one to concede. If you can come up with activities that get her moving and that she enjoys - my husband, for example, enjoys exploring new cities when we travel (when it's not COVID times) - then that's one way to do some of this together. You can tell her it would mean a lot if she'd go out kayaking with you some afternoon before it's too cold. But I don't think you can essentially coerce or wheedle a non-exercise person into being an exercise person.

I guess I might feel differently about this if I hadn't grown up in a family with this dynamic, too. My father - like me - loves being out walking, bike riding, all that. My mother thinks that walking once around the block constitutes a good workout. I've seen my father try for years, decades, to get my mother to be more active with him - by saying it's good for her, that it would mean a lot to him, everything you can think of. She' s just not going to do it. So he has other friends to go out walking and hiking and biking with, and they are both happier. She was more willing to walk when they were on vacation, and luckily they went on a lot of vacations. But exercise and fitness is just not part of her life, never was, never will be, and my dad was happier when he stopped thinking that could change.

I try to exercise this same sense of understanding with my husband now, too. He just does not want to do it, and me nagging and begging isn't going to change that. Maybe one day he will decide on his own that he'd like to try moving more. That would be wonderful, I'd be thrilled. He knows that him being more part of that aspect of my life would make me very happy, and since I know he overall really wants to make me happy, he must REALLY not want to exercise.

I don't know what else there is. Maybe asking your wife if she needs some time, or money, to be able to exercise more - like could you cook dinner, and she can go out for a walk, or something. Otherwise: I think you just need to find friends to do that with, and enjoy other things with your wife. People are annoying by not being more shapeable, in my experience.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics