Reply to Fifty something female who feels as though I’ve missed out

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[quote=Anonymous]First, you describe human beings as “not the best quality”.  That is offputting.  You shouldn’t date married men or men who lie about being divorced (isn’t that the same thing?) but people aren’t chunks of meat.

Second, if you don’t view yourself as having nothing to offer, why would anybody else?

Third, who are your friends?  Could any of them be ruining your chances for a good relationship?  Things like “he’s a little overweight… “I can’t believe he didn’t wash his car when he picked you up” “why is he wearing a wrinkled shirt” all things that really don’t matter. A friend can be loyal to you but treat your boyfriends terribly.  If you want to hang onto that friendship for whatever reason, give it a wide wide berth and make sure the boyfriends are your prime interest.

There are a lot of nasty women out there who probably want you to remain single.  Make sure too that the women you know aren’t talking a good game and then doing the oppisite at home. Things like “I’d never cook for a man” and then “I’m making a chicken pie for Billy, he’s loved chicken pot pie since the day we got married and I decided I’d learn how to make it”.

what exactly have you been doing with your time?

Do you have plans to “go out of town” when you meet a guy who wants to go out with you?

Nobody is going to wait around for anybody, none of us are simply that awesome.

Finally, why did things not work out with any of the men you were interested in?  Are you interested in men who are appropriate for you?  Are you going after husbands, bosses, men who are new fathers and even if technically single probably shouldn’t be dating.. men who are geographically undesirable?

You either never really wanted a relationship and are only thinking about it now because you are lonely during the pandemic, or you are doing something or maybe several things which mean you have what a friend of mine calls “too much bad luck”.

One or two guys may not have worked out.  One or two may have been married. There have always been and always will be a few frogs out there.

Going forward, date on the weekends ideally evenings.  Anybody can get out of the house during the week.

Don’t put up with men who date you once or twice and then need to “go out of town”.  Oldest line in the book.

Don’t chit chat over text, that is why phones and facetime got invented.  Remember, anybody can text from anywhere, it’s harder to be up to no good via phone.

If you make a date, keep it.  You can always leave, a date isn’t jail.

Be available during healthy dating hours.  Not all hours of the day are the same, even Beverly Cleary uses this as a plot device in one of her teen romances, Kate And Johnny is the book I think, and it was written back in the 1950’s.

Say no to men who want to go out during nondating times, see what I said above about married men.

Look at your friends group, and make sure you aren’t hanging around harpies.  One of my male friends flat out told me that he told his then girlfriend now wife, “your friends are the reason you’ve been single”.        [/quote]

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