Reply to Feels like my parents want to use DD as a prop for their social lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought the whole point of being a grandparent was that it was fun. I have no interest in doing any more of the non fun stuff. I have done that already. I want the parental equivalent of muffin tops only. [/quote]

Then I hope you stay in a hotel and bring your own meals when visiting your infant grandchildren. [/quote]

I really don't get this attitude.  When I visit my parents, they are hospitable -- they have beds with clean sheets ready, they prepare meals, etc.  When they visit me, I try to be equally hospitable.  They don't have to do chores in exchange for "getting" to see their grandkids.  I expect them to be good guests -- i.e., not make big messes for me to clean up, being generally considerate, pitching in with things like clearing the table or the like -- but I would never say that they could only stay in my home if they offered free babysitting or did the kids' laundry or whatever.  I want them to feel connected to their grandkids.  I feel sorry for people who have these crappy, transactional family relationships.  OP doesn't say that her parents show up and make a ton of extra work and act like inconsiderate, entitled jerks.  She's mad they aren't playing peek-a-boo with a two-month-old baby all day.  [/quote]

Because they're not guests. They're family. Family who, at least in my case, got the very big benefit of their own parents being very involved in the care of their kids (including me): pick ups from school, sleepovers, babysitting, weeks in the summer, weeks when they went on vacation. They always complain about they "raised their kids" and I have to stop to remind them it was with a LOT of help. More than they've ever paid forward.

And that's fine. They are not REQUIRED to do so. I'm just not about to let them treat me like a B&B. I have enough to do, with all the things that they don't help with, and then some. If they did other things to compensate or  . . . . differently (there is other baggage there), I may not be so "transational" as you put it. To each his own. [/quote]

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