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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. I’m so sorry that you dealt with secondary infertility, but I’m glad that you seem to be happy now.

I’m sort of in that same boat. Most of my friends are having their second. My 2 friends with one both have significant reasons (one is older and had multiple miscarriages and the other has Crohn’s). My friends who have two are really consumed by it and are understandably unable to do anything else. In contrast, I’m able to pursue hobbies (playing music with friends and writing songs just for my own enjoyment) while also balancing work and spending time with DD. I recognize that having another would make that impossible for at least another few years. So there are real trade-offs.

Like another PP said, I think both lives are enjoyable. I doubt I would regret having a second once I met my baby; the vast majority of people fall in love with their children and so couldn’t regret that the second one exists. But I could imagine myself regretting giving up the time to be able to do some things for myself while also being a present parent, spouse, and employee. [/quote]

OP, I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing you've already had at least 30 years for your hobbies, and I don't see how putting them off a couple more years will make that big of a difference in your life. When you're 80 and on your death bed, are you going to be like "thank god I did my hobbies for those 2 extra years" or "thank god I have two children"?[/quote]

It’s all about what you value. Playing and making music is pretty essential for my mental health. I’ve gone through periods in the past when I don’t do it, and I’ve seen a noticeable increase in anxiety and sadness. It’s therapeutic for me.[/quote]

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