Reply to Resentful About DH's Schedule- A Vent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand this.

He works.  You work.  When he's not working, he runs errands.  When you're not working, you can run errands. He works extra hours. You don't work extra hours.

1) set a budget.  He doesn't get to work extra, and buy toys with it, while you have to stay home with the kids. He works for the family, into a budget you both agree on, or he stays at home while you take a walk.  
2) set a schedule.  You get friday afternoons off, or with him, or whatever you choose. He doesn't get to work extra on friday afternoons. 
3) get him to do time-shifted work around the house -- laundry, meal prep, clean the bathrooms, whatever.  You do the daiily deal with the kids: breakfast, dress, off to daycare, p/u from daycare, etc. He can't, because he often works when these happen. he can help when he's home. 
4) he needs to sleep some.

[/quote]

You are right.
1) In the budget I set, do I also set mandatory contributions to our various savings accounts?
2) Agreed.
3) We had this discussion 2 years ago and we landed on him doing the laundry for the kids. He also does dishes when I basically let them pile up. But that's it.
I had a cleaner, but since COVID they have refused to resume services. I need to find a new service provider because it's become unmanageable to keep up with cleaning. He is just not good at it, so it's more hassle to ask him to contribute to cleaning. He is great with the morning routine so I do not interfere with that in order to get extra rest (unless he has to leave early), but then I feel bad on the days that he works until 2am and has to wake up at 7am. But that would then require me working round the clock. So it's no win for me in terms of how I feel, but I do remind myself that I am entitled, to an occasional break.
4) I'm not sure how you figured out that he doesnt get much sleep from my posts, but you're spot on. He gets 6-7 hours/night, which is not healthy, but it's by choice! So my sympathy is unfortunately lacking.[/quote]

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