Reply to I feel like I’ve become my parent’s employee.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When someone becomes a parent, do they become their child’s employee?  They have to keep track of their appointments, pay their bills, Feed them, dress them.......

It is part of the aging process.  First parents take care of you.  You launch,  you and they age.  They need help and the children take care of their parents.

You can obviously hire out the more mundane stuff, but thinking of it as being an employee struck me as odd.

[/quote]

There is a lot missing from your musings. There are many shades of gray in the spectrum you are describing. There is a wide range of people on this forum who have parents with plenty of cash and then those whose parents are destitute. You have people whose parents were attentive and loving and then those whose parents were abusive to them as children. You have people that are double income no kids and others who have drained their own savings taking care of a special needs child. And so on, and so on. A person whose parents were abusive and are now destitute are likely going to feel differently about eldercare than people who had loving parents that wisely saved for their retirement. Or, a person that has plenty of money and time on their hands will likely feel differently about being at their aging parents beck and call versus a person working full-time with small children. So, your point seems lacking in reflection on the many facets of eldercare that once can face.

I will also disagree that it is an adult child's role to provide eldercare. I don't feel this way about my own children, and I work my booty off to make sure they have a wonderful life and are set up to be functional, healthy adults. I do think it's reasonable to help your parents, but not reasonable to assume they'd be living in your home and you'll be dressing them if they were horrible parents or refused to save for their own retirement. There is an element of personal responsibility at play here. [/quote]

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