Reply to Is it ethical of me to cut off my 75 yo sister financially?

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[quote=Anonymous]If you can't get enough money for condo, then make it a one or two bedroom rental. You can't force her not to have her friend over, or even stay there, especially not when you aren't there.

You CAN make sure she has a roof over her head, electricity and water, a comfortable place to sleep, and basic needs met. If you are concerned that cash might be diverted, pay things directly where you can -- like the rent -- and in a way that makes it harder to divert when you can't, such as gift certificates to a taxi or Uber service, or an "account" with them that you put money into. Have her medical bills sent to you. Have a standing order of basic groceries delivered on a regular basis.

You don't have to do that. It is the gentlest way to make sure she is provided for despite being challenged in many areas. It gives you a way to look back later and know you did your best.

I mean, you can't force her to sleep there, or not, I dunno, have her roommate sell the groceries for weed, or something. But you can set it up so that with minimal emotional involvement, her needs are met. When you take care of the basics, she can use SS or whatever other income she has at her discretion. And you won't be fielding calls all the time about running short, because needs are met, and you can be clear that wants are her purview.

Good luck, OP. This is so much harder than anyone realizes until they go through it.  [/quote]

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