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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here and I'm going through the same thing. My husband has diagnosed anxiety and hasn't been successful taking his meds (more like he doesn't want to take them); and he also has not attempted therapy. I'm a mess and our marriage is a disaster. He gets irritated easily, I snap right back, and we say some really shitty things to each other. Then we sweep everything under the rug. Our communication has gone down the tubes and we are pretty much living like roommates who share the responsibility of raising 2 kids. I cannot imagine living like this for the rest of our lives and I refuse to stay in a loveless marriage just for the kids. I also don't want to just give up. I want to fight for us. He is a great dad and the children mean the world to him. The truth is I really haven't pushed him to make an effort to see a therapist. I feel like now is the time; and  we also need marriage counseling. Can someone tell me how to start? Should we go to individual counseling while we do marriage counseling at the same time, or is one more important than the other right now?  How do you convince your significant other to seek help? How can I support him? I'm at a loss so any feedback is helpful. [/quote]

start with individual therapy yourself.  By your own admission you snap back and say some really shitting things to him too.  Work on yourself and how you respond, learn tools to de-escalate and improve your own mind and communications.  Drop pushing therapy on him until you have a better handle on your own thoughts and emotions.  Then, either by seeing the change in you or by being able to more clearly communicate with DH the dire importance of improving your communication - ask him to either attend with you, or on his own.

best of luck, the first step is being honest with yourself that both of you need help in the marriage.[/quote]

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