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[quote=Anonymous]I had to cut off my parents. They were abusive to me and my sister (she’s also estranged from them; they’ve never met her children). I made the decision when I noticed them manipulating my kids the way they would me when I was a kid. We had tried various boundaries in the past, which my parents trampled on, and I realized it was an all or nothing situation.

It wasn’t easy. Judgment from people who didn’t know everything was hard in its own way. The first time they’d judge or try to get me to give them another chance, I’d explain there’s a lot of history they’re not privy to, and it’s my decision (aka back off). If they kept at it, I stopped talking to them too. I can’t handle having the same conversation about how I need to accept abuse over and over.

The one exception I made was for my MIL. She knew I had a close but complex relationship with my mom. I think when I went nuclear with my parents, it scared her because if I could completely cut off my parents, it might be easier for me to do that to her. So I gave her more details and reasons why I came to the decision I did. She understood but would still ask me every time we talked if I’d heard from my parents or if there were any updates. I finally had to spell it out to her that nothing was likely to change, but that her asking was bringing  up unpleasant memories and feelings. If she kept on, I’d call less because it was becoming unpleasant for me to have that discussion. But if she’d trust me, I’d let her know of any meaningful changes in my relationship with my parents.

TLDR for the most part, I cut off people who pressured me to continue with my parents, because they’re clearly allied with my parents instead of keeping my best interests in mind. [/quote]

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