Reply to Almost 93, frail, very poor hearing ..will not move

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People have a right to live out their days as they wish, as painful as it can be to watch. At that age, any day a person can spend contentedly is a treasure. Moving them someplace they don’t want to be “benefits” only family members/friends who feel responsible for ensuring that person lives as long as possible, happy or not.

It’s hard, and I went through something similar with multiple family members (strong opinions about wanting to remain at home), including my parents. My perspective changed after seeing people moved “for their own good,” after which they were bitter and lived the rest of their days depressed. IMO it’s better to live a slightly shorter life on your own terms.[/quote]

Thank you for posting this. We've been struggling with this exact issue with my grandmother and I think this crystalizes the various thoughts I've had trouble summarizing succinctly.[/quote]

Also, the very elderly often do not handle moving well.  Moving is ranked as a stressor on par with getting a divorce, and very old people often don't have the ability to weather it.  YOU might think that it makes no sense for them to stay in a house that's too big, or whatever, but it's their home, and leaving their home is scary and traumatic and disorienting and might not result in a truly better quality of life.  It's hard for other family members, but I think all you can do is figure out what you can manage to help and do that, and recognize that it's not likely to be for very long.  If you're thinking ahead, plan to move in your 60s if you can, because moving in your 80s or 90s is much harder on you.  [/quote]

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