Reply to Feeling Insecure about First Time Expecting at 36

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi All,

Honestly just looking for a confidence boost from this community. I met my DH when I was 32, didn't marry until we were 34, spent the last 2 years trying and are finally pregnant!!!!

I'm having a lot of insecurities about my age. The insecurities are not because I am high risk, but just being too much in my head my first child will be when I am almost 37.

I went for my first trimester screening and everything looks fantastic!!!! While I was in the waiting room I just got very insecure seeing all the younger women (at least those who appear younger). I know I am being silly but was hoping some older FTM can share any tips for not getting in this negative headspace, it's really unhealthy. THANK YOU!![/quote]

OP I have almost the exact same story. I met my DH a little earlier, but due to job loss and other issues we didn't get married until I was 34 and yep, I conceived at 36. I was a basket case during my pregnancy and worried that we'd waited too long but then the baby was born and everything was great and I met a ton of moms around my age and my stress about my age just kind of went away. I don't know about you, but I think part of the issue is that I was an older mom by the standard of my family (all my siblings had their kids in their 20s and early 30s) and they treated me like I was an abnormality. There was also another woman in my office who was pregnant at the exact same time as me (like due dates within days of each other) who was a full decade younger than me. It really skewed my thinking and made me feel so old even though my OB kept telling me that I was average for her practice.

It got so much better when I stopped focusing on them and instead focused on my peer group -- people I went to school with, neighbors, etc. Yes, some people have kids earlier. But some have kids later! I have a friend who had her first baby at 42. No judgment to younger moms at all, but I think being an older mom has been great for me and my kid. I'm more patient now, don't take things as personally, and have a better sense of what I need to keep myself regulated and happy. That comes in really handy in the early years of parenting, dealing with crazy sleep schedules, kids who don't want to eat anything, potty training, and toddler meltdowns. I would not have dealt with any of that as gracefully as I do now if I'd had kids earlier in life. My kids get the benefit of my extra years of wisdom and we are all better off for it.[/quote]

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