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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just wonder, if you are emotionally healthy, is it not possible to have compassion for your own mother? I really am curious. My mother is likely NPD, but I have a lot of empathy. She had a crappy childhood, depression, poverty and she tried her best to be a good mom. To this day, I have had a hard time with her, but I also take a very compassionate view and think how horrible it must be for her to feel the way she does every day. I just can't believe how many people on DCUM hate their moms. Have most of you "diagnosed" your mothers through your own therapists?[/quote]

I’m a DIL, but I find I can have compassion at a distance. When MIL is spewing her venom at me, or giving her son the silent treatment for some imagined offense, it’s hard to feel empathy in that moment.  My dh finally went very low contact with her for his on emotional well-being.  We pay some of her bills, and do what we can from a distance, but she’s just too damaged a person to maintain a normal relationship with.  [/quote]

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