Reply to Do you go on solo vacations?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m more okay with a spouse taking the kids on vacation if the kids and parents share an interest that one spouse doesn’t.  This way, the spouse who stays home gets to stay later at work, sleep, have some grownup time.

I’m not okay at all with one spouse literally jetting off to go off on wonderful trips leaving the other spouse home with the kids.

Parenting solo is mentally, physically and emotionally exausting. 
Trips have to be planned in advance so if there has been a rough period with the kids, the house, health, it’s not like the traveling spouse can or would just stay home.

I also couldn’t stand seeing my husband get excited about a trip that I didn’t get to share.  A friend yes, a sibling yes, a parent yes, but not a husband.  That isn’t why I got married.

I am the only person who is legally and morally allowed to share a bed with my husband, and I am going to be the one who enjoys trips with him.

I also think that the spouse who travels looses touch with the family.  It’s very much like a g-rated affair.

This morning my husband, kid and I were talking about some yard work we have to have done.  My husband was grumbling about it, I was trying to reassure him, and our kid said something incredibly funny that has had me chuckling all day.

I can guarantee you that conversation wouldn’t have happened if my husband was getting ready for a solo vacation, on a solo vacation or just coming back from a solo vaction.

Also too, know that it isn’t just the time away that matters.  It’s dealing with flight delays and the expectation that the spouse who stays home will care for the spouse who just came back.

What this looks like is something like this “I’d like to see a movie on Sunday.  It’d be a great way to relax with spouse.  I’d buy tickets, but wait, the plane might be delayed, or my spouse may come home sick as a dog and not want to go out”. 
So now you don’t get to go on vacation together but you also don’t get to plan for and enjoy normal family activities.

Finally, the spouse who takes the vacations knows what they are doing.  It is difficult for the stay home spouse to find friends to take similar trips.

Once you get past a certain point in life, especially with kids, your friends have less free time, or they prefer to take joint vacations, or one of their spouses says “I don’t mind going to Jack and Jill’s house, but I think it’s weird Jill takes solo vacations, so no way would I be okay if you went with Jack to spring training, I’m not sure I trust how he’ll behave”.

Most people want to keep the peace within their marriage so will decline a trip from the friend who’s spouse is always off traveling.

Note too the contempt in this thread. The op’s husband is so lame he has to fly his parents in to help.  He’s so lame he has no friends who want to travel with him?

It’s not a way a spouse should portray their beloved.

If it really was just about a solo vacation, that might be fine, though it really is as some of the comments on the thread demonstrate. 
[/quote]

Ok crazy.[/quote]

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