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[quote=Anonymous]Ultimately, caregiving is a choice. OP’s siblings are making the choice to provide a particular level of in-person care to their mother, but they can’t expect OP to do the same; it can’t always be precisely equal. OP is doing what she feels she reasonably can, as someone who isn’t local enough to do the daily hands-on care; she has figured out ways she can support her parent and siblings from a distance. Paying for housing and groceries is valuable and not to be shrugged off or dismissed, just because she’s not logging in the sane hours as her local siblings. And I’m saying that as someone who would move mountains for my mom if she were in a similar situation and be there as often as I could.

That being said, OP, a heart-to-heart conversation with your siblings about your mom’s needs, what help your siblings are hoping for from you, and what you can reasonably accommodate is in order. Just air it out and go from there. Beyond that, if you’re not willing to visit more than you currently are, you just have to be direct with your sibling.

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