Reply to What makes a spouse look loving to you from outside the relationship

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Reply to "What makes a spouse look loving to you from outside the relationship"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For a long time it bothered me that my husband doesn't do overt demonstrations of affection in public.

Then i learned about love languages. I strongly recommend understanding this for every couple. My husbands love language is acts of service but quiet ones. My love language is verbal. [/quote]

Agreed. My husband is not very demonstrative in public either. It used to bother me in part because I had friends comment on it. I even had a friend who asked me seriously if I wanted to marry him because he didn't seem that in to me. Another time, after I was married, I was at a work event on my own and a friend asked me why my husband wasn't there. I told her he didn't feel like it, and that I try not to make him go to too many work things because I know how hard it is to be the spouse at those events. She said, "Wow, he should have come. I can't believe he wouldn't support you in that way." She was so sure of it that I almost doubted my own feelings for a moment!

But the truth is that my husband and I are very private and do most of our loving and supporting when we are alone. I can be incredibly annoyed with him, complain about him to a friend, and then go home, see him making dinner for our family or watch him goofing around with our kids, and I'm just in love with him again. That's just how it is.

In other words, I don't really think you can evaluate a relationship from the outside. Though yeah, people who fight publicly or are publicly disrespectful of each other (I'm thinking specifically of couples I've known who will make fun of each other in public or tell each other to stop talking). But if they are just not super publicly loving.. I don't think you can read much into that.[/quote]

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